i tend to surround myself in dreams, cloaking my thoughts from myself, afraid of what lurks beneath...or something of that nature. no, really...i love my dreams...but sometimes they tend to rule my thoughts. they're such interesting dreams, after all. i want to remember them all. and, while they are vivid enough to last a few days, i forget a good portion. i don't like that. yes, there are some which make no sense whatsoever, but i still like them! still, i should be less consumed with dreams and more consumed with the reality which nevertheless continues to enshroud me in a pall of normalcy. or so it seems.
okay, but no one wants to hear that. in fact, no one wants to hear anything besides something about themselves...humans are narcissists at heart, i think. secretly, of course. because it's against society to be narcissistic...funny, huh? let us frown upon our own shadowy characters.
no one pays attention anymore (sorry, sudden shift in subject). i mean, no one catches it anymore, do they? the rippling glimmer of sunlight reflecting silver in a creek? or the snatches of gold which seem to peek through. no one pays attention to the water's whisper anymore. they no longer care. there's blood in the trees, you see...but no one believes. not that i'm a big environmentalist. not anymore, at least. oh, when i was eight, i was completely informed (or so i thought) on the state of the environment. i wanted to grow up and save the world. and now all i want to do is sit back and watch. i want to watch as everything fades, because there's beauty in that, too. a sad beauty, yes, but beauty all the same.
oh! gosh...i'm bored...and even more miserable because i feel listless...i really don't want to do anything. that, i think, is worse than anything...but, to go and find something to do (hopefully). adieu!
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