my life as a rainy day

there are some points in your life when you think, "this can't be happening, it's not real." but what if it was always like that? and i don't mean to ask, "what if your whole life was bad?" no. i mean, what if, sitting on the couch, watching tv, suddenly seemed the least real thing in the world? sometimes, i just stop whatever i'm doing and i just look around. and i get this feeling that nothing's real; it's all a dream. maybe because colors are so...soft outside of my dreams. when i sleep, colors have a deeper tone to them, like there's more depth to them; almost as if i'm not just seeing them. but it's a ridiculous thought, isn't it? that everything's a dream. still, everything's too...i don't know. don't listen to me; i'm just off in i-have-nothing-to-do-except-sit-and-think-of-random-things land...
ivy is growing in my house. yep. ivy. it came in through the window...we live in this old house and the wood is kinda cracked and aging, which lets ivy creep in all the time. there's even ivy growing out of one of the light sockets! that's supposed to be good luck. but, i can't really determine whether i've had good luck or not. i don't think i have...but, then, perhaps it works over the long run...and bad things that happen have happened because they needed to in order to get better...sort of like when you're sick, i suppose. well, anyway...my little ivy vines keep me company here, creeping in away from the outside...i don't know why it'd want to be in here, though...the outside world is so much more beautiful...well, at least here it is...we have those nice grassy yards with tall, stately trees growing at nice intervals, with their shadows just barely touching each other. it's nice. but i miss my old house, too...we had woods there. it was nice. it rendered a different sort of feeling than this one does...similar, but different. but they make me smile.
well, enough of that nonsense! i must go back to honey and clover, my newest drama-obsession...it has one of my favorite actors in it and i bet none of you have heard of him (well, almost none of you)...well, bye!