Lacrimosa

so i officially quit chorus...again. it makes me really sad. i love to sing, really i do. it's really amazing when notes rise out of you and tumble out into the world. i love that feeling, you know? but it's not like i have much opportunity to sing. i can't even sing at home. and not because i don't want to. no, my mom tells me often how much my voice creeps her out. it makes the hair on the back of her neck rise and "not in a good way." thanks mom. at least i can carry a tune. but, you know, she says my voice is really pretty, she just hates it. that's about the worst thing someone--especially your mother--could say to you, i think. but, i have, at least, gotten one compliment on my singing from a family member. yeah, it was about three or four years ago from my older brother. we were sitting in the car and i was just randomly singing and then he just complimented me. it was weird and i was incredibly happy. and now he insults me everytime he hears me. but, hey, at least he did actually give me a compliment. there was this other time that someone told me i would do very wel at opera, but i'm not sure i like that compliment as much. still, i'm very sad about my decision, but it had to be done. but we were going to sing some of my favorite songs!!!!!! but it's okay, really. i can always catch some time to sing when no one's home. and then quietly in a corner at school if everyone is loud enough. see, i hate singing in front of people. i mean, i do but i don't. i want to sing so much it makes me cry. but, hey. no worries, right? after all, i still have my writing, which is all good, really. and chocolate. chocolate always lifts anyone's spirits.

oh, on a brighter note, this semester isn't so bad, although i really liked last semester better. ah! i also now have a whole class devoted simply to the library--you know, instead of having a class where i did like eight days' work the whole semester and ran down to the library for the rest of the class. ah, the wonderfulness of newspaper. only that class has gone majorly downhill since my freshman year. i was supposed to be in it this semester, too, but luckily they had to drop the entire class so mrs. payne could teach more trig. i used to love newspaper, but i just wanted to escape that class after a while. really. there were only a couple of people in that class that actually cared. the rest just lazed around or wandered about the school and made sure our deadlines were blown to pieces. but i shouldn't be so harsh. i don't know exactly why they took the class. ack! this semester, i have a good amount of work to do, like always, but it seems as if i'm not doing anything at all. i like AP, of course, but not as much as i liked the other class (maybe it's the poetry). economics is better than i expected and i like it, but there's no real...i don't know how to describe it...it feels like there's a lot of empty space in there...or something, you know? and then there's third block. the library! i love it. i don't do as much in there, really, as in other classes, but angela and i are working hard on pathways. so much so that i'm afraid no one else is going to get the opportunity. But! we have some really great prose this year. yep, ed and erika, ellie and...well, angela and i...god. every year, i am completely surprised by the amount of my stuff that makes it into the 'yes' pile. is my stuff really that good, or is it just that i turn more stuff in than anyone else? well, whatever. i'm just worried that, because i'm an editor, people think i just put my stuff in pathways, regardless of what people say. and that's absolutely not true. if it were up to me, nothing of mine would get put in pathways. but, unfortunately, due (in large part) to peer pressure, i put my stuff in. oh! we voted on a cover, and the choice makes me incredibly happy. i won't reveal anything else; if you want to find out all the awesome stuff we have for pathways this year, you'll just have to buy it (yep, that's right, i'm trying to up our sales through use of my blog).

well, i've kept you all long enough (as if anyone's actually going to read this, seeing as how my blog has weirded out). so, sadly, i must say goodbye and end this blog on a happy note. bye!