don't worry; the sky should stop falling by tuesday...

college. that big, looming goal which everyone is looking towards but not necessarily looking forward to. you know, i had this dream last night...it had to do with college. i was walking down the hall in the elementary school in Pennsylvania I used to go to (ringing rocks elementary) with my books in hand, just randomly, as if it was normal for me to go to highschool in an elementary school far, far away. well, i was walking down the hall and everyone around me (apparently, i had moved the whole of our high school into this teeny elementary school)was freaking out. Some were pulling their hair, others were banging their heads up against the wall, muttering about how they didn't like that flower right next to chapel on their prospective college campus...stuff like that. and here i was, just humming a happy tune, looking for my next class. i think that's indicative of something...do i not worry enough?
i'm pretty laid back, i think. i mean, everyone's all worried about their majors and their colleges and everything, and i'm just off in lala land, thinking that i shouldn't let that one character sneak into my story even though they're a great character (sorry, but you just sort of put the story on hold and throw everything into chaos, palladia!) yes, i worry, but not as much as everyone else, i think. and maybe that's bad. worrying can be quite healthy sometimes. i mean, it makes people get right on things instead of horribly procrastinating.
while college, for some, is beginning to take on the shape of this giant, monstrous fortress, where everything is dark, gloomy, and overwhelming, i'm walking along, ignoring it all. the onyl thing on my mind is tuition, and even that's a vague sort of worry, really. still, i can work myself into a state if i really want to. i have a horribly defeatist attitude. *sigh* i'm one of those people who don't care to notice things until they're right on top of me...or i've been in the same place for a few months. one day i look around and say, "hey! this is odd. oh, look...the tiles are different than in the other hallway..." and go right back to floating around...change doesn't necessarily bother me.
and yet, in the middle of the night, poor, horrid defeatist stephanie crawls out and takes my place, muttering gloom and doom tales about the failure in life ahead. she goes and mutters to anyone who'll listen. thank god my mom has an equally defeatist attitude (towards me) and gets me angry enough to snap out of the glum attitude. she does it on purpose.
oh! yesterday i watched My Neighbor Totoro. i forgot how much i love that movie. i haven't really seen it since i was seven...that was the last time i was ever able to watch it because my brothers ruined my second copy of the movie...but, anyway...miyazaki is so cool. i love his films. they're hard to make sense of sometimes, but really great. Oh, I also watched Princess Mononoke, which i had never seen before, further establishing my love for all things hayao miyazaki. he made one of my favorite movies ever--Howl's Moving Castle--which just so happened to be a wonderful book beforehand. He introduced me to such wonderful characters as Totoro, Calcifer, Beep-boop, Haku, No-Face, Ashitaka, Howl, and, of course, Turnip Head.
well, i must go now...i'm off to investigate more manga...perhaps Ouran High School Host Club has been updated, though, with the way thigns are going, Naruto will end before I get to read another chapter of the Host Club...sad, really. What will I do? i've finished death note and fruits basket...*sniff* the manga must go on!
well, i'd say that's enough randomness for today. i shall be off. so long!