am i supposed to feel older now?

my birthday is tomorrow...or, rather, today...yep, i turn eighteen today. isn't it exciting? not really. my parents have been saying this whole week, "how does it feel to be almost eighteen?" in these really conspiratorial voices...and then they get all disappointed or alienated when i say, "it's a birthday, no big deal...i feel the same as yesterday..." it's a fact that i probably won't feel eighteen for another couple of months...but, you know, parents expect an answer...no noncommittal shrugs for them...they simply won't have it...
well, anyway, i'm here at angela's house, having a nice, eventful, GH/anime-filled sleepover...only it's like five in the morning and no sleeping has actually taken place...it's mostly been action all night. later today i shall go back home to my family and celebrate this "monumental" birthday, amidst idiotic comments and "advice" which sounds more like the firm belief of failure in life. you know, they think they're helping but, really, they're only making me wish i didn't have to leave my room and talk to them. i know they're trying to help and be useful, but i have commonsense! actually, it seems i got all of my brothers' commonsense, too, so i have my fair share...they don't need the whole, "even though you're not incredibly smart like your brothers (who, in fact, are not smarter than i am, if only because they are smart in only one area), and even if you don't have much of a chance, you really shouldn't get too depressed...you'll end up happy someday...maybe you'll settle down and have a nice bunch of kids..." yeah. because all that applies to me. i don't get depressed. it's not practical. why get depressed? after all, my life isn't nearly as bad as it could possibly be, what with all the possibilities in the world. and i don't care about whether or not i end up "happy" because that's not the point. and to settle down...sounds like a horribloe damper in my alone-with-books time...
needless to say, being eighteen isn't that great, if only because i don't care too much...should i care? should i be like every other student and immediately mark my eighteen-ness with some tattoo or random piercing? let's go wild and impulsive merely because we've hit some sort of wonderful number in our lives...IT'S A NUMBER!!!!! WHO CARES?????? okay, just wanted to get that out...your age doesn't really matter beyond the boundaries of the law...i mean, really...as long as you feel yourself, it's okay, right? numbers don't define you, do they? not unless your confidence is wavering...oh...and what's up with 40? yeah, it's one of those scary, up-there numbers but think: people live to like 100 now...forty isn't even halfway...don't complain about being old until you can't get yourself out of bed...
ah, sorry...didn't mean to go on a tangeant...i just think 40 is a pretty number and it's horrible the way people malign it...well, happy birthday to me...and everyone else who shares my birthday...